Earlier today, a good friend of mine casually derided a neighborhood for being “filled with yuppies,” who were assumed to be “douchebags.”
I’ve done the same kind of thing in the past. But more recently, I’ve begun to question it.
This started happening when I decided to stop what I was doing for a moment and look at what the word I was using actually means — rather than merely relying on the the connotations we’ve assigned to it.
It’s forgotten to many of us now, but the term “Yuppie” is based on an acronym which simply stands for: Young. Urban. Professional. That’s it.
After having spent so much of my life using this term as a dirty epithet (which was the norm in the culture I came from) I began to think about the term more literally instead. And I slowly came to realize:
“Wait just a goddamn a second, I am and/or want to be all three of those things!”
It also dawned on me that in fact, almost all of my friends who use the word “yuppie” as a derogatory term are and/or want to be all three of those things as well.
My circles are filled with innumerable young people who live in cities and either have, or aspire to have, a profession. (In my world, it’s usually in music, sound, or some other creative field — simply because that’s where I work.)
Many of these friends use the term “yuppie” not only derisively, but without irony. Is this genuine self-loathing, I’ve wondered, or a mere lack of reflection on what the term actually means, just as it was for me?
Obviously, there’s nothing wrong with not identifying with any of these three attributes either:
Being young is perhaps overrated. I’ve come to think so anyway. Of course, youth doesn’t necessarily mean a person is naive, immature or overly self-entitled, either. I know plenty of older people who are all three of those things. (Very few of them are successful professionals.)
Some people prefer living in the suburbs or out in the country. That’s fine too. Trees and grass are nice. And no one is holding a gun to anyone’s head, forcing them to live in cities.
And then, some people just aren’t interested in having a “profession”, if given the choice. Some folks have either sufficient luxury or lack of ambition to makes pursuing a “career” unattractive to them. (Even if they are able and intelligent enough to do so, as most people are.)
Are these three attributes, when all put together, sufficient reason to judge or dislike a person? I don’t think so.
When people use the term “yuppie” with anger and venom, I think that what they really mean to say is: “Self-entitled jerkface who can apparently afford nicer shoes than me.”
Which is fine. I would merely ask that we JUST SAY THAT INSTEAD, DAMMIT.
If you want to call a person a “jerk” for something they did, or rebuke them for acting in an overly self-entitled way, that’s fine. Go do that. Godspeed.
But if you think you can make that kind of judgement about a person on sight, without knowing anything about them beyond from their probable age, assumed income level, and the neighborhood in which they happen to be standing at the moment, well then… maybe they’re not the one being an asshole.
Worth thinking about, anyway .
This kind of jump to judgement of course, is natural and it is human. A bias against the “other”, as well as a propensity for fostering low levels of resentment toward those who appear to be doing better than we are, is baked right into our DNA. It is only through effort and culture and education that we can overcome these ultimately self-destructive drives more often than not.
These days, I have become content to dislike people for the content of their character rather than their general demographic group, whatever it may be. And I invite you to join me.
If a person is going to dislike me, I’d prefer that they do so for something I’ve said or done. Not for my age, gender, ethnicity, skin color, income level, religion or lack thereof, taste in music or clothing, or my place of residence. That’s just silly.
I’ll happily extend that same courtesy to others. And if I forget and mess up? You’re more than welcome to tell me I’m being a jerk. You’d only be accurate.